For the first time in my life, I have had to tell some that were my best friends that we were no longer best friends. It was hard and it took me a while to do it. I was afraid of what their response would be. I was afraid of what they would think of me.
Naturally, people grow apart and in different directions. That’s life! It happens and that’s ok. My husband told me that not all friendships last forever. To be honest, I wanted it to. So I put up with the relationship as it was. Though it was emotionally draining, toxic, and unfulfilling; I still kept the relationship.
My heart was broken. I knew I had to change something as it began to take a toll on me physically. I prayed and cried and prayed and cried. Finally, God gave me multiple confirmations on what was necessary for my life. I had to let those ‘best friends’ know that we weren’t best friends anymore. This was hard.
Best Friend is not a word I take lightly. I have had betrayed trust in my life so my inner circle was small and best friends were few.
“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”
Proverbs 27:17 NLT
This scripture taught me to evaluate my friendships, PERIOD! The best friendships that I knew I had to leave, did not have this! My definition of Best Friend is valuable to me. I know that everyone has different definitions of best friends and I have learned that. I used to think time equates the relationship of a best friend. THINK AGAIN! That’s not always the case. I’m not deterring you from your best friend(s), I’m admonishing you to evaluate all of your friendships.
I had to be okay with being labeled ‘The One Who Left’ out of a relationship. It may seem as if it is a negative connotation with it, but the freedom I felt and the pressure that was lifted has been amazing. It pays to be obedient to God. I was upset and I kept going back and forth with those ‘best friends’ to get my point across as to why I knew we weren’t best friends anymore. My Amazing Father- in-Love whom I affectionately call Dad, gave me major wisdom. He said (summarizing here lol) that I can’t force them to understand my point and that I have to let them come to a resolve on their own, whether they decide to do that or not. I was still upset because there were so many words that they assumed I said but I didn’t say. I told my husband why I was so frustrated and upset. He asked me why I was still going back and forth with them. I looked at him and said I don’t know and then I said that they keep putting words in my mouth that I didn’t even say. He simply said ‘Babe, you don’t owe them an explanation.’ I exhaled and said you’re right. So I said ok to whatever they were saying and just stopped replying.
All of that to say:
Be okay with being labeled ‘The One Who Left’
You can’t force your stance on anyone. Allow them to find their own resolve.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation for living for you
Be great out here! Keep living! Keep growing! Give yourself Grace!