I used the think that because God already knew me (Jeremiah 1:5 part a) that I was going to get a pass into heaven. I gave the excuse that God knows my heart when it came to me showing how imperfect I am and when I didn’t want people to judge me. Yet people don’t have that place to judge, we usually grant ourselves that power! Chile, if we really knew God, something different would be happening. Very few of us REALLY know God. We pretend day in and day out putting on a show for him, our fellow church members, our family, and friends of some sort of ‘god’ that we do have. God longs for us to know him. I am very analytical as to where my passion for math and science comes in. I asked questions for understanding and more. I could ask many questions but I could never go to God with my questions about him, about the life he gave me, and anything else that could come to mind. How is it that I can’t go to him with my questions?
It’s not that I can’t because he wants me to come to him with EVERY emotion, my concerns, my frustrations, my joys, and even my questions.
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.”
Philippians 4:6 NLT
It was more of the opinion that I didn’t think he wanted to hear me and that I did not feel worthy enough to go to him. That’s like a toddler not going to his/her parents at all because he/she doesn’t feel worthy. Ryleigh, my toddler, does not even know what it means to be unworthy!! She comes to her dad and I for everything and with everything! We could all learn a thing or two or three from toddlers. What happened to us that established the concept unworthy in our lives? Really think about it. I’m still learning and practicing calling myself what God calls me and he calls me worthy! I now ask God questions- the easy ones and the hard ones! God is big enough to handle my questions. I’m not going to hurt his feelings with my questions. He is strong enough, he never gets tired, and he is always there! I have to focus more on spending time with him instead of pleasing him with my works and my idea of perfectionism. Here’s the thing, when I do spend time with him, it pleases him!!! He wants to show me love. He wants me to know and get a deeper understanding of his immeasurable love for me! No matter what I have done or will do, he still loves me!!! Even when I thought and believed that I was unworthy, he loved me then and still loves me!! God is love and his perfect love casts out fear. I’m going to continue to go to God with ALL of me and have some awesome conversations- even when the enemy tries to come and bring that ‘unworthy’ lie again!